19

tomorrow marks the last day of my 19-day fast. i look back on these days with total gratitude. it was a hard fast. it tested me in so many ways.
things happened during these 19 days that have struck a cord in my soul.
reflection, gratitude, love.
something happens at 3pm when i have no more energy left in me. i am exhausted and feel as though i have nothing left in me to give. so i submit. little things that bothered me, just don't. i move slower, think slower, am not phased by heightened stress.
and then big news came.
life altering news.
needing to sort through the emotions. allowing myself to feel what comes. and just feel it. to sit with it. to let it wash over me.
my distractions become less and less and my awareness more acute.
i sit here on the eve of the 18th day - as the night is about to roll over into the last sunrise i will awaken before - and i read through the thoughts, inspirations, and words of wisdom that my friends around the world share about their own experiences during this time (http://nineteendays.wordpress.com/) and i am completely humbled. each word they say resonates with me and creates a bond and connections even though worlds are between us. their experience feels like my own. their insights feel engrained in me.
i am thankful for these 19 days, carved out of time, for me to focus. on me. on my own spiritual development. on my longing desire to be a better person.