forgiveness

forgiveness is such a difficult thing. particularly when you are in a position where you feel like the absolute LAST thing that you want to do is forgive.
but holding on to things eats away at you. it makes your soul stagnant. it doesn't allow you to soar. and inevitably, that effects your spirit and your outlook. you stop loving in the way that you used to, you stop giving in a way that's generous and kind, you stop being true to your real nature.

not forgiving causes a burden that you don't even realize is there. until you start to peel it off. even with a tiny peel and you see how different you feel.

there is, however, that fine line between forgiving and being naive. and i think it is the fear of the latter that forces us not to want to forgive. it is our need for justice that begins to cry out - forcing us to hold on to anger, hold on to hurt, hold on to pain.

but then comes that tough part of trusting that the justice comes, it always does. truth finds a way to shine. love finds a way to shine. and there is little you really need to do for that to happen than to wait. now, the thing is, that waiting can take a long time. it requires extreme patience. in that time of waiting, you have a choice. you can either hold on to anger, pain, and hurt and wait for justice to come knocking. or you can free yourself from those things. find love and peace and calm in your heart so that you have the capacity to move forward with grace, with dignity, with kindness.

there will always be that long awaited journey to justice. but how you choose to go down the road is the decision you will need to make for yourself.

and i know that, no matter how painful the circumstance, i choose love. i choose kindness. i choose forgiveness. because in the end, it actually is only hurting me to move forward in any other way.